All throughout this week I've had a strange feeling of deja vu, which I've discovered comes from the fact that many of my friends will soon or already have completely finished university. The reason there is this feeling of deja vu is because of that year before I started university when I took the year out, and I saw all of these people that I knew going off, moving forward with there lives and me feeling slightly like I was being left behind.
There are different people in my life that believe different reasons as to why I took that gap year several years ago, some know I took it intentionally, others think that it was just because of the screw up with my grades at a-level leading me to have to go into clearing and pick any old university to go to. Out of all of these reasons though, I don't think many people know that I took that year out, partly because of the grade muck up, and little things like that, but mainly because of the family issue that occured a week before heading of to university. I believed that at that time I should be with my family, help them out with things like money and bills and things like that and they best way to do that was to not go to university. Now in no way am I saying I was forced into anything, or that it was anyones fault I didn't go to university that year, it was my choice to not go to university. Saying all this though I did still feel that my life was being put on hold somewhat, and hearing throughout that year all of the exploits people were getting up to at university, made you want to get out there and do it yourself.
After that year as this blog reflects, things with my family got better and I felt that I could continue as before and so I came to university. Several years on, here I am again in kind of the same situation feeling slightly sad that I'm not at the same stage, however this time round I'm also feeling quite relieved and glad that I'm not there just get. Although I've been hearing from friends that they are now done with education, and going all the way out into the world, many of them have also said that they still aren't a hundred percentage sure about what they are going to do now, are they going to move home again and look for jobs there, will they move somewhere else, will they just grab any old job for the foreseeable future until the perfect one comes along, so many different choices. Its because of all of these decisions why I'm kind of relieved, I'm glad that I still have a year left, that I still have time to decide all of these things. If anything them going ahead of me allows me to learn how they handle things, and gain tips and tricks about finding jobs and things like that.
The main reason I'm talking about this today is because since that day that I chose to leave university, there has been a small part of me that naturally was wondering whether that was the best choice to make. Feeling oddly glad and relieved at the fact that I am still in university, surrounded by this world of education, when people I know are having this time end, just reinforces to myself that I did in fact make the right choice, it took three years to notice that but it finally lays rest to those little thoughts in the back of your head. Oh it would be nice though to have all my school work forever finished instead of sitting here in the library doing an assignment, oh well the time will come, and i may even find then that I miss this annoying assignments and exams and would love to just do it all over again.
I know that this blog is probably quite specific to the events that have occurred to me, but if there is anyone out there that ever wonders, "did I do the right thing?" you just have to trust your instincts, do what you think is best, and you never know one day you may just catch a glimpse of something that says, "yes that was the right thing to do."
