Whilst thinking about the subject of this blog I ultimately thought about the kind of people that might read it and how people would perceive it. After some time I came to the conclusion that there will be two potential groups of readers; the single people and the people in relationships, and there will be two ways of perceiving what I'm going to write. The first will be in agreement with me understanding far too well the things that I am going to say and the second will be somewhat unaware of what I am saying and won't really agree. Now of course there will also be other people with other views but for the most part this is how I see the majority viewing this subject.
In my life i have both been in a relationship and out of them, of which I am in the latter at the moment. In my experience when you are in the state of being single you seem to go through several stages; newly single where all you tend to notice are other couples, seeking relationships, where you do things like go out a bit more, try online dating and generally make yourself more aware of wanting to find someone new, and last but not least, happy single, where you are not in a relationship, but where you socialise and do things as normal and your fine with the state your in.
What I want to talk about within this blog is this last state. Through my few years at university I have come to find out stuff about myself, as you do when your a young adult leaving home and beginning to become more independent, etc... One of these things that I have found out is about how okay I am with my own company. Now I'm not saying that I'm going to become a total recluse and never go out of the house, but that if I have a week to myself alone in my house, I'm able to keep busy, get stuff done and not go a bit nuts because theres no one around.
Whats this got to do with being single you say, well let me put it like this, I have now been without housemates in my house for about two weeks now and although I'm absolutely fine, not bored or anything like that, I can guarantee you that nine out of ten times when I call my mum she will say 'I'm worried about you being on your own in that house', meaning it not in a safety way that someone might break in but that there isn't someone around with whom to regularly interact with.
This feeling of being alone has somehow become a bad thing within society, and that translates over to your relationship status. People, although I don't think notice they do it, tend to judge you on whether you are single or not, and make an impression of you from that information when in actual fact, its not that important. When going on a night out, the people in a relationship instinctively think that the single people will want to find someone to hook up with, to ratify this singleness, when actually your not, and your just there to have fun and hang out.
The reason I've been thinking about this subject, is because earlier on this week a girl my age who I went to secondary school and sixth form with, got engaged. This made me think 'shes my age, shes way further along that relationship scale then me, am I meant to be further along then I am, etc...
What I think I'm trying to get across through all of this rabble is that, singleness shouldn't be a factor with which you see people. Personally I don't think finding someone to date should have so much effort put into it, usually the relationships that work out best are the ones where things are easy, where the people met at work or school or in a shop where they weren't searching for it. Also you can't measure relationships, you can't say once your together for this many years you should get married, everyone is different, so are their reationships
All of this just makes me want to say, yes I am single as are so many others, but I am fine with that, no I'm not out every night in a club searching for someone because that's not me, but if someone came along, stood in front of me in a coffee shop, bumped into me in the library, was introduced to me as a friend of someone I know....then I'd always be up for moving forward and seeing where things go.
There is a middle ground to these things, being single doesn't mean that you have to be out there searching but it also doesn't mean you totally want to be alone, you can be part of both, happy with your company but still open to new things. Why does society have to make things so much harder then they have to be.
I should never re-read these blogs, I know in my head what I wanted to say, hopefully some of that got across through all of the confusion and babbling. To answer the question I set within the title, Yes it is, but its also okay to be in a relationship, its okay to do whatever you want to do, just do what you think is best for you.
