Early this morning, I found myself confronted with a slight dilemma and I'm not quite sure how to answer. Before everyone left this morning my mum told me that my dad had asked, if my brother, him, and me wanted to go for a drink somewhere on sunday evening, seeming as I will be leaving for university a couple of days later.
The dilemma with this situation is that I'm not sure if A) I want to go, and B) if I should go. Since the events that occurred this time last year, also when I was meant to be heading off to university, I have barely heard anything from my dad. I've received the odd text, or texts with jokes in them, and if I pass him at work, he'll say Hello quickly, but nothing more then that. In regards to this, should I give him the time? I have relatives up on Sunday, and my sisters back from London then too, would my time best be spent with them?
I'm not sure if I want to go also, because in my head that scene of sons drinking with there father seems very traditional and family like, and not arranged meet up because I barely see you.
On the other hand, he has asked to see me, even though perhaps it is because I'm leaving to move somewhere else, and so he wont have very many chances after that, but he is, in a way, trying.
I don't want to make anyone sound bad in this blog, but I also don't want to lie. That said, the reason I feel I probably should go on sunday is because I think, if I don't, my dad won't try much afterwards to contact me. How I mean by that is that, yes I'll probably still get the odd texts, but I'll be away, I'll have moved off and won't really be in the picture anymore, and when that happens you feel less inclined to make the effort.
Its been a year now since my parents broke up, but in that time I've managed to help my mum with problems at home, get a couple of jobs over the year so I had money coming in, I've been able to spend more time with my siblings, get my education sorted and on track, and deal with things that arose throughout the year, without the help from my father.
I'm still going to think about sunday evening and whether to go, but I think I've already made up my mind.
Writing this blog has actually helped to lay things out quite clearly. I know I'm getting back to the slightly depressing, personnel blogs, but that's what this blog site of mines here for, to hold all my ramblings, thoughts, and feelings. However I'm sure in no time I'll have another upbeat, chaotic, end of the world blog posted for people to read. Thankyou.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device
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