Last night celebrated the official ending to freshers week, meaning that come this morning new first year students headed in to have their first lectures and officially begin university. I however don't actually have my first lecture till tomorrow morning as I have Mondays off, as well as Fridays.
Last week for students, was less about the education side of university and more about the social side. All week the local clubs and the HUB (our student union) have been hosting events to get students in the mood for socialising and partying, and there have been some great evenings. I didn't go out to as many as I thought I would, but I do have to say that, the night of the North vs. Midlands vs. South pub crawl was definitely an awesome night. Of course I knew that it being freshers, people would be out every night, friends would be meeting up during the day time and some people would still be getting settled in. However with this I thought there would also be a couple of university work type events to go along with the social events, so it did come as a slight surprise to me, when over the whole week I only had to go in for a quick registration and enrolment, a short talk about the library and a brief talk about my lectures.
It's not that I wanted a jam packed first week, I'm quite glad actually that it’s been a calm week, the thing is that I've just come to realise over this first week, that in between lectures I actually have a lot of free time.
Before I say anything else, I do know that when university gets into full swing I'll have projects to get done, essays to write and I'll more than likely be complaining I have no time to do anything, but it could realistically take a few months to get to that stage. So my problem now is, how do I fill my time?
Last Sunday, not long after writing my last blog I actually caught the last train back home, this was because of a phone call that I'd had from my mum that evening when she mentioned about how things were back home. During the afternoon on Sunday my mum had a 'meeting' with my dad to discuss a few things, the outcome of this meeting being, that they were now getting a divorce, that my dad wanted the house to be put on the market and sold as quickly as it could, and that also for the foreseeable future, he would be moving back into our house. I won't say much about why he'd be moving back in, I'll just say that due to certain reasons he would be moving back into our house for 3/4 nights a week, and the rest of the time he'd be back round at his other house.
After spending the night at home last Sunday, I then had to come back to Sheffield on Monday evening, so I could go to enrolment on Tuesday, and go to the rest of my classes throughout the week, however I was determined to be at home for the first day my dad moved back in, and so at the end of last week, on Friday, I went home again, as this was the day my dad would move back. I don't want to speak for my family, but I am in no way happy about what my dad’s doing, in regards to moving back in, and this was 100% confirmed when on the first night, he came into the house, popped his head round the door, casually asked how things were going, and then said that he was going upstairs to unpack and settle in. After a year of him not living there, and all of the things that have happened, it is beyond me how he could stroll back in like that. The only way I can describe how that felt then, was like 'he had popped out to the shops a year ago and he'd just got back', I noticed how long he'd gone but to him nothing had changed.
I'm sorry I don't want to talk about this too much, it’s just that at the moment it feels too much like deja vu, last year a week or so before I left for university, he splits my with my mum, and then a week into me starting university this year, he moves back in and brings more problems with him.
I still feel that taking last year out was the best decision, for my family and for me, but this year is my second chance. I feel like a can have a brilliant time here, and start moving forward. When I left for university just under two weeks ago, everyone was in a good place, things were getting better, and I actually felt as though I could leave and things would be alright. I don't in anyway mean that without me things would crumble, I just mean that we've all been there for each other over the last year, and with me leaving there would then be one less person around as a source of support. What do I do now though?
I could take the option of going home every weekend, I have the money to do that, and I would love to, but then that means that I won't be spending as much time in Sheffield, and won’t have as much time to spend with people from university. Two weeks ago I wouldn't have had this problem, I could be at university and not feel like I'm doing my family wrong, but now I feel as though I should dedicate time to going home more, and cut back on my priority's to university.
Anyway, I'll stop all that talk now, also it's now getting quite late and I do have my first lecture tomorrow morning, so I should get some sleep. I can't say how much I'm looking forward to tomorrow and to properly getting stuck into my work. It's been a long time coming, and it's almost here. Let's hope it all goes well.
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